Attention

you were like
the worst winter
cold as dreary
dark and opaque

and i was
like the summer sun
a smile across my face
trying to brighten you up

too many chilly moments
lead me to confront you
you were unaware
and full of apologies

and now you try
to shine on my world
giving me all the attention
when i require none anymore

it doesn't feel
the same anymore
the ecstatic feeling you gave
has been replaced by awkwardness

mayb it's time
we let autumn come
so we shall fall apart
and wither away

Runaway

i want to runaway
far from here
to breakaway
from these troubles

so i'm forcing everyone
to let me go
doing things to
be rid of the guilt

i'll be glad
if you came along
then we could get lost
in a fantasy

maybe
it's wishful thinking
and you won't
come away with me

those beautiful eyes
your sweet lips
and our conversations
i would miss

either way
i will go
away from this madness
without hesitation

i stood ground
to put up a fight
but now it's time
to runaway

Hanging By A Fingertip

feeling cornered
got nowhere to go
i look around
there's no escape

i feel helpless
will i go down
without a fight
without a chance

desperate for survival
i start to dig a hole
to hide myself
from everything

but it's not helping
as everything starts to haunts me
i hold onto
what little hope i have

and i fight back
against the odds
to see some light
in the darkest times

i want to give up
i want to get away
but here i am fighting
when hope fades every second

I Need

i'll lie to you
i'll cheat on you
i'll hurt you
i'll make you cry

you think
i'll do all of this

i'm not denying
i'm not defending
i'm not giving excuses
i'm not asking for blind faith

but i don't think
that you have a crystal ball either

it is fair
for you to be catious
it is understandable
for you to be scared

scars take time to heal
trust needs time to build
love needs time to grow
and i need time to fight for you

You Don't , I Do

you don't return my calls
you don't reply to my texts
you are making it clear
that you don't want me around

it's not that i don't get it
but i just can't leave you and go
all i want is to talk to you
and to see if you are fine

you are lying there
in bed with him
with so much anger
just to get back at me

and i'm here
all alone
going out of my mind
worrying over you

i keep telling myself
to build up resentment
so it's easier
to detach myself from you

yet it's funny how
i dont feel any hatred
even as i am
walking away

Let Down

you say i'm acting weird
that i'm being someone else
well i've got news for you
i've been this when you aren't around

how can you walk in
and start looking for my smile
it's been on a break
ever since you wanted to take one

then you start accusing me
of being all gloomy and dull
what else did u expect
when you walked away with my soul

maybe i went all the way
when i should've stopped half way
but now my only fear
is that i would walk away

not just from you
but everyone else
saddened by let downs
that i'll choose to be on my own

Don't Cry

don't cry little darling
don't loose hope
your knight in the shining armour
will come to you soon

sometimes you have to
cross a several bridges
to get to your
home sweet home

so wipe those tears
and flaunt your pretty smile
let the world be
amazed by your beauty

and till he comes
stay away from them
they don't care
about anyone else but them

When I Met You

i wish that
i had met you
when i believed in love
and you did too

it all
would have been perfect
like a fairytale
i used to read

but there's a reason
that we call it a fantasy
it is not something
that we could live in

sometimes i can't help
but wonder
how it would have been
to have you with me

we would have been in love
in our little bubble
doing the silly and romantic things
that couples do

now it all seems far away
and this would
end up
being just a thought

because when i met you
and you met me
we were running
away from love

Vulnerable

going against my own advice
i couldn't help
but open up
leaving myself vulnerable

my mind kept saying no
i turned a deaf ear
when i should have
listened closely

there's not much
to be done now
but to walk away
in pain

lessons learnt
won't go to waste
but not using them
is the case

as always
i'll have with me
the wonderful memories
that i've made

so i'll bear
through the pain
because it wasn't
all in vain

i'll always smile
when i think of you
maybe shed a tear
because we are through

Out Of Time

you pushed me away
when i tried to get closer
you made it clear
that i wasn't needed

i couldn't do much
you were making the choices
i was stuck at heartbreak hotel
and i checked out recently

matters of the heart
concerns me nomore
i'm just fine
with a stranger in my arms

but now you say
that you want me back
and that it was my fault
to let it slip away

i'm not pointing fingers
and i'm not trying to mend it
we've run out of time
it's about time you realised it

Death Of A Bastard

bruised by love
battered by breakups
i was down and out
never to get up

then i found an inner strength
by killing my consciece
i stood up on my feet
pulverizing my oldself

a bastard came into being
selfish in its own right
not giving a damn
nor showing any mercy

it felt wierd at first
but soon it became second nature
and i embraced
not being accountable

at a time when i least expected
in a place i hardly spent time
you came into my life
when i was betting for disaster

so the fightback began
to regain my lost soul
my heart yearned to break free
from the chains i've put on

now i stand here with hope
which you've inflicted upon
you gave me the weaponary
in the form of love, compassion

i made the most of it
to rid what was not me
so here i am celebrating
the death of the bastard

Pretend

i want to tell you
that i'm stuck
in a mess
and i can't get out

but the words
wont come out
the fear of loosing you
holds it back

so i pretend
that everyting is ok
fake a face
that i'd never have

i'm clueless
and i'm dying here
it sucks that
i cant get out

all i want is
to speak my heart out
and set it free
but i cannot

Comfort Zone

we come home
escaping the outside world
and watch some tv
have home cooked dinner

bubble baths
whilst sipping red wine
falling asleep
all cuddled up

she's the first thing
that i see every morning
and i'm amazed
by how she makes me feel satisfied

everything is
just the way it should be
a picture perfect scenario
but then i think to myself

should i get down
on one knee
or should i leave
the door open

The Fall

walking towards the edge
makes me want to free fall
and it suprises me
how i'm not scared at all

so i shall fall
with a smile on my face
pushing away everything and everyone
at peace on my own

i might not be reluctant
yet in these dying minutes
i look for my reason
to prevent me from falling

i never cared much
of how things would end
though my conscience doesn't allow me
to leave things unfinished

so maybe my reason
is not you or them
rather to fill the void
that i've always seen around me

Red

we thought it was love
so we painted it all red
it seemed like a great way
to celebrate our love

we were in a rush
eager to shout out loud
to tell the world
that we were in love

maybe it was too soon
maybe it was misread
too many maybe's
too little feelings

it's still all red
though we are mourning
a bleeding heart
instead of celebrating

Helpless In Bed

his rough hands
smothers her velvet skin
unable to break free
she shivers in fear and disgust

using all her might
she pushes him back
running for her life
is all she can do

like a starved savage beast
he pounces on her
whilst she screams in agony
he tries to find pleasure

her eyes filled with tears
she looks for compassion in his eyes
but none she can find
as he gives an unmerciful glance

all out of chances
all out of hope
she stares at the blank wall
lying helpless in bed

If You Let Me

what would you do
if i were to come there
and hold you tight
in the moonlight

would you push me away
and run far away
or would you hold me tight
in this cold night

let the cold breeze
blow your hair
across my face
whilst i kiss your neck

and we shall lie
amongst the wildflowers
and wake up
to it's sweet scent

i would do it everyday
if you let me in
because i want to
grow older with someone like you

Children Of The War

born and raised
at gunpoint
we were taught to follow
not to think

they were our parents
they were our gods
everything was laid out
in simple black and white

but now it has changed
the chains broken
taught only to follow
now we look for guidance

unable to think
on our own
we are caught in constant dilemma
lost without our voices

if you broke the chains
teach us how to stand on our feet
or forever we shall be
the children of the war

Something's Don't Change

something's don't change
even though how hard i try
something's won't wait
till i try to figure it out

so i have to mess it up
when it's worth trying harder
that's why i haven't changed
because i'm always a disappointment

that is why
even though i don't know
what i am doing
i'm sure about the outcome

when everything is uncertain
one thing is certain
i just throw it all away
when i should b holding on to it

There You Weren't

there you were
lying next to me
hair fallen
across your beautiful face

i move it back
to look into your eyes
trying to understand
how you make me feel this way

i put in an effort
to stay still
fighting the urge to kiss you
scared that i'll ruin this moment

even in your sleep
you leave me breathless
even in my dreams
you still mesmerize me

there you weren't
lying next to me
you've left without a trace
like you said you wouldn't

Matter Over Mind

you take me in
to feel the warmth within
my senses overwhelmed
by the pleasure you bring

i caress your perfect body
trying to memorise every touch
but my conscience gets in the way
as i'm in bed with someone else's

you ask me what's wrong
and i smile and say nothing
after all it was our choices
that led me to bed with you

i try not to think too much
about what's right and wrong
i shut down my conscience
and fire up my hormones

your sweet lucious lips
and your burgeoning breasts
distracts me from my moments of hesitancy
whilst i'm thrusting into you

I Try

i try to be a better man
i try to be someone good
in the midst of all the trying
i get lost and fall down

even though i try to do
what i think is the right thing
i know i am no saint
mistakes i've done myself

i try to help you
through dark times
but there are moments that i wish
i could kiss your pretty lips

i sacrifice my dreams for you
and i know it's because i care
but then there are times
that i wish my dreams were pursued

i do not seek praise
all i want to is to see things through
sometimes i can't help but wait
to hear you acknowledge

i'm trying my best
to be selfless
but at times i feel like running away
and being selfish and ignorant

Self Destruct

one by one
i tick them off
day by day
i give into hate

word by word
i hurt everyone
piece by piece
i break their hearts

step by step
i walk away
little by little
i self destruct

Through the Lens

i see her
in magazines
flashing a perfect smile
for the camera

her tears get filtered
through the camera lens
and i wonder
who she is hiding from

no one to share
the sadness in her heart
she lives in a fantasy
on her own

friends she has many
none when she needs them
so she turns to darkness
to console her

playing a role
in someone else's play
she's tossed out like waste
once her role is played out

Secretly Falling For You

you came
to light up the darkness around me
so that i saw
what i was missing

when you speak
i watch your lips
create a symphony
the sweetest sound i've heard

and when you walk away
the way that
your hips move
excite me

i could go on
writing about all these
things that you do
which makes my heart skip a beat

but i've wasted enough time
and i want you to know
that i have been
secretly falling for you

Gifts of Guilt

she holds her hair
till he puts on the necklace
which he hopes
would take away the guilt of mistreating her

he kisses her on the neck
to show some affection
but it doesn't bring back
the sparkle in her eyes

and she wonders
if this is how it's going to be
will he try to buy himself
out of all the mistakes he makes

thoughts of leaving him
lingers on her mind
scared of being alone
she decides to play along

Paper Boat

fragile as i am
i pretend to be a boat
made of wood
when it's just paper

helpless on my own
without strength to carry myself
i depend on you
to keep me afloat in life

i cannot control where i am heading
i do not know my destination
hoplessly praying
for a miracle

that my journey ends
in a better place
before i'm soaked in my mistakes
beyond redemption

Stolen Innocence

tell me who stole
the innocence from her eyes
i don't know whom to blame
its gone without a trace

trying to act older
when she's just a kid
looking away from
the best years of her life

blindfolded by insecurity
she turns towards
things that are destructive
desperate to fit in

i hope it's temporarily
and she finds her way back
without being a faded picture
in the album of life

Pieces

pieces of my heart
i try to put together
it doesn't seem to hold
like it used to before

pieces of my life
i see scattered everyhwere
the ones with you in it
i can't seem to find

pieces of our love
i've been trying to submerge
efforts have been invain
it keeps resurfacing

everything i go through
everything i've been through
reminds me of how
hard it is to replace

Let Me Be

a frozen heart
doesn't feel love
doesn't feel pain
doesn't care about anything

that's how it is going to be
now that we are not meant to be
nothing gets in
nothing gets out

i remember opening up my heart
i remember falling insanely in love
but it's all in the past
i have no regards for it

i've run out of love
whilst trying to find my way
out of the rubble of my past
so let me be

Holding On

just when i was
about to give up
things kept falling around me
hope was gone

but i'm starting to see
rays of hope
coming through
the gloomy skies

should i give up now
or hold on for
a little bit longer
than i expected

it is a gamble
but i guess
i have to take my chances
nothing's written in stone

i can hang on and keep my chin up
but it's an uphill battle
when you are so close
and yet so far away

Time Out

what am i doing
i ask myself
but i hardly get an answer
and i'm happy with that

howcome i'm happy
without knowing what i'm doing
maybe i'm happy being confused
rather than having to take sides

i tell that i'm done with love
but why do look for romance
i tell that i'm back doing one nighters
but why have i skipped those nights

i'm saying no to commitments
i'm saying no to flings
maybe it's just that
i need sometime for myself

Miss Independent

she says she's fine on her own
that she doesn't need anyone around
trying to live life
as miss independent

she doesn't listen
or take advice
because she thinks
it makes her look weak

she lets in all the sugar-coaters
who leaves as soon as dawn sets in
pushes out anyone
willing to grow old with her

then every night
when she goes to bed
with no one to
comfort or talk to her

she starts to doubt
what she says
but too stubborn to admit
she puts up a face

so she goes on
living alone
just because
she wants to be miss independent

Choices

sometimes we drift away
from the things that matter
and we drift along
with the things that don't

i'm on a chosen path
with intentions of
bringing about positive change
to the ones i love

it's not always
cruising on a highway
instead it's a crossroad after the other
i try my best to pick the right way

but i can't help but wonder
if i'm making the right choices
or if i'm walking in the dark
making things worse

there's is only one way to find out
if my choices were right
that is by seeing things through
to the end

I Won't Slow Down

everyone takes their time
to complaint about my addiction to speed
though none takes time
to think why i'm addicted

is it the adnereline rush
or the satisfaction of being ahead
i'm sorry to disappoint
because it is neither

all the little things in my head
that makes me question my sanity
all play catch up
when i'm behind the wheel

maybe i take an extreme route
to reach my moment of clarity
but i'd rather forget it all for a second
than having to slow down

Hero or Zero

we all want to be a hero
driven by our childhood fantasies
the desire to be remembered
among billions of others like us

comics and cartoons
based on heroes
frontpage articles and celebrity status
it's a tempting lifestyle

but i don't want to be a hero
i want to be her zero
who gets to hold her in his arms
instead of running away to save the world

so if someone is writing my destiny
or if i have to write it on my own
i only have one wish
to be the zero of her life

Curtain Falls

so many things in my head
i don't know what to think
succumbing to loneliness
my soul gives away

it's hard to focus
when i'm nothing but a mess
i slip into darkness
as hope starts to fade

how can i move on
when there's so much to let go
holding on to what i've done
is not helping either

but it's too late
to turn back and regret
and it's too hard
to look forward with hope

my head is spinning
from endless thinking
as i wait for
the curtain to fall on today

Seasons of Our Love

warmth of our budding love
melted the wall between us
our love started to grow
like flowers in the spring

days went by
and we grew closer
love started to blossom
the summer of our love begun

unable to stop the inevitable
we started falling apart
like leaves from a tree
autumn had descended upon us

shattered and broken
we grew apart with cold hearts
frozen with time
we walked away alone

Life After You

everyone wants to fall in love
it's not a cliche
just the truth
that we sometimes look away

i was one of them
who looked away
but you changed all that
turned me into a lover

then it all fell to the ground
like a house of cards
love has left me
though i still yearn for companionship

and i found that in someone else
it was not love
but moments of sensuality
which was enough to get me through

here i am now with a stranger
whom i hardly know
love never crosses our mind
yet our bodies constantly collide

she keeps me busy
through these dark times
but when i let my mind wander
it always finds you

Coward

maybe you think i'm a coward
because of the way i've acted
i do not blame you
i know i've been one

it's not easy
to explain the circumstances
it'll only come out
as a justification

i don't want to give excuses
and i'm not saying sorry
no word can make up
for the pain i've caused

i was caught in the middle
between two worlds i love
so i did my best
to bring happiness to them both

i never wanted anything for myself
i only wanted happiness for the ones i love
maybe i was a coward for being selfless
and not pursuing what could have been

Whatever

whatever
is what i say
when i don't say
what i say to say

why does a daughter
have to lie to her mother
why can't a husband
be honest with his wife

why do we overlook
the little things in life
and wait till a snowball
turns into an avalanche

is it because
we are too afraid
of the truth
and its consequences

or do we try to lookaway
till we are push against the wall
and we are left with
no other choice