Death Of A Bastard

bruised by love
battered by breakups
i was down and out
never to get up

then i found an inner strength
by killing my consciece
i stood up on my feet
pulverizing my oldself

a bastard came into being
selfish in its own right
not giving a damn
nor showing any mercy

it felt wierd at first
but soon it became second nature
and i embraced
not being accountable

at a time when i least expected
in a place i hardly spent time
you came into my life
when i was betting for disaster

so the fightback began
to regain my lost soul
my heart yearned to break free
from the chains i've put on

now i stand here with hope
which you've inflicted upon
you gave me the weaponary
in the form of love, compassion

i made the most of it
to rid what was not me
so here i am celebrating
the death of the bastard

Pretend

i want to tell you
that i'm stuck
in a mess
and i can't get out

but the words
wont come out
the fear of loosing you
holds it back

so i pretend
that everyting is ok
fake a face
that i'd never have

i'm clueless
and i'm dying here
it sucks that
i cant get out

all i want is
to speak my heart out
and set it free
but i cannot

Comfort Zone

we come home
escaping the outside world
and watch some tv
have home cooked dinner

bubble baths
whilst sipping red wine
falling asleep
all cuddled up

she's the first thing
that i see every morning
and i'm amazed
by how she makes me feel satisfied

everything is
just the way it should be
a picture perfect scenario
but then i think to myself

should i get down
on one knee
or should i leave
the door open

The Fall

walking towards the edge
makes me want to free fall
and it suprises me
how i'm not scared at all

so i shall fall
with a smile on my face
pushing away everything and everyone
at peace on my own

i might not be reluctant
yet in these dying minutes
i look for my reason
to prevent me from falling

i never cared much
of how things would end
though my conscience doesn't allow me
to leave things unfinished

so maybe my reason
is not you or them
rather to fill the void
that i've always seen around me