thoughts of a confused mind

Wall Of Lies

2011-12-25T03:58:00.000-08:00

she says goodbye to everything
to hide behind his wall of lies
just because he convinces her
it is for love

meanwhile he lives his life
with no regard for what she needs
and she is not the only dame
he is with

but she thinks
she should bare it all
out of love
and for love

with dying hope
that things will fall in to place
however what she doesn't know
is that he won't change

he'll continue with his
deceitful ways
in the end
you'll just be hurt and alone

Document My Heart

2011-12-21T07:53:00.001-08:00

i feel like a fool

documenting my feelings

when i'm broken and battered

lying here without a clue

i keep telling myself

that i should just

get up

and move on

yet there's a sweetness

in the pain

maybe because

it's the only thing that's left of you

A Kiss From You

2011-11-06T06:19:00.000-08:00

one kiss from you
takes me back
to the time
when things were good

it makes me wonder
if this is where i should be
maybe it's time
and then i think otherwise

waking up next to you
with you tucked in me
i stroke my fingers
through your hair

you turn around
and i greet you with a kiss
you smile and
close your eyes

i should stop thinking
as it distracts me
from savoring
these sweet moments with you

The Release

2011-11-02T21:16:00.000-07:00

the chills of this rainy night

gives me goose bumps

as i lay in bed

and i start to think of you

how you'd keep me warm

through the night

little by little

my mind gets filled

by thoughts of you

with each budding thought

i feel myself grow

warmth trickles down my body

what i would give

to capture your strawberry lips

on mine

how good it would feel

to embed myself in you

whilst we curl up together

tonight it shall not be

but still you fill me with excitement

which I release late into the night

Goodbye

2011-11-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

there are times
we overlook the obvious
focused on the things
that drive some of us to insanity

but i feel blessed
to have realized
that we all have to leave
sooner or later

so this is me
finding my closure
because i know
it can be sooner rather than later

i'm sorry i didn't mean to
bring upon pain
nor did i intend to
ignore you

just like everyone
i got caught up in life
i'm on the way out
and i'm at peace

thank you for keeping me going
when i wanted to call quits
so this is my goodbye
to the people i love

Absence of Conscience

2011-10-10T05:21:00.000-07:00

there she is right across the table
one look at her
and all i can think
is the things i want to do to her tonight

she can just tell
what i'm thinking
she smiles at me whilst she bites her lip
as if she approves my train of thought

i open the door for her to get in
and while i close it
i smile to myself sarcastically
what a sensitive wuss i used to be

all that's long gone
now everyone is
just another girl
no ones getting through to me

so lets drop the cotton
and get between the linen
it's time to celebrate
my absence of conscience

Mugshot

2011-10-10T05:20:00.001-07:00

you call me up late
and start asking 101 questions
if i'm out?
who i'm with?

and i'm wondering
why do you care
when i say nothing
you get on my case

for a minute
i'm fooled
to think
you might care

they say actions
speak louder than words
but sometimes your words
can be so convincing

though i'm fooled
for a split second
your mugshot is etched in my mind
because you are guilty of being a bitch

One More Thing

2011-10-09T20:15:00.001-07:00

with tears in my eyes

i read the news of your loss

and it took a little while

to sink in

even though i didn't know you

i felt as if i lost one of my own

that's when i realized

your impact on our world

people speak of

the amazing things

that you brought

into our world

but more than that

i am forever grateful to you

for teaching me

that there's nothing wrong in being a dreamer

Ilegal

2011-09-30T22:07:00.000-07:00

you are with him
but you still
get mad at me
when i'm with someone else

and i
feel like
i'm cheating
when i'm with someone else

you say
you feel
exactly the same
when you are with him

then why are we apart
i sometimes wonder
and it hits me
you are bound by legality

100 Things

2011-08-25T21:38:00.000-07:00

i can say a 100 things
show you a world
built in a fantasy
that never would be true

but you should know
you should feel
if my words are just words
or if they are something more

i'll save my words
for when it matters
just stay away
from the sugar coaters

because i'll do what i have to do
i'll say what i have to say
so baby hold tight
don't let me go

The River

2011-08-14T21:39:00.000-07:00

an earthquake of heartache
broke me into pieces
and a thunderstorm of loneliness
took me far away from everyone

you came from nowhere
gushing out like a river
collecting the broken pieces
and bringing them ashore

now you nurture me
like a mother to a child
helping me to recover
from an absence of life

Lie To Me

2011-08-12T22:27:00.000-07:00

tell me that you are making up
the things that you say
and when i'm waking up
it all will be lies

so none of this will
stand in the way
and you don't have to go back
into his arms

stay here with me
i want you by my side
but it's just wishful thinking
and i can't help it

it hurts so much
to let you go
and to watch you
drift away

helpless and stranded
i hope you
lied to me
this one time

Diving In

2011-07-24T02:32:00.000-07:00

i let go
i broke free

i played the savior
i played the villain
i played the lover
i played it all

not because i wanted to
but because i had to
it's all done
and none matters anymore

all of that
and everything else
prepared me for
one last battle

so here i am
ready to dive in
uncertain if i would
surface to see the light

eventually we all wither away
so i'm taking my chances
to face it on my terms
and with it to take away the darkness

From Gold to Stone

2011-06-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

i never had to break sweat
i never had to worry about anything
everything i touched turned gold
life was one big party

and then it wasn't
piece by piece things fell apart
everything i touched
turned into stone

sometimes it's so confusing
when i try to figure out
what went wrong
but i've realized it's all a test

i don't really care anymore
i'm just doing what i think is right
so here's my apology
if i didn't measure up to your expectations

you can paint me the villain
or you can erase me completely
i'm more than happy being forgotten
because i stopped giving a damn long time ago

Walking Away

2011-05-22T05:00:00.003-07:00

one step forward
one step backward
i was held back
from acting on my thoughts

feeling restless
caged and battered
often i wondered
when will i break free

and finally
my mind is at peace
as it feels right
to walk away

Run No More

2011-05-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

i'm running away
from it all
i'm running towards
the unknown

i'm leaving behind
everything that has
tormented me
gifting me with pain

i hung on for too long
hoping to see the best
but all i got in return
is a shattered world

so i started running away
as fast as i could
even before i made up my mind
as to where i was heading

i think i should slow down
to walk the next few steps
while i decide
where i should be

Borrowed Time

2011-04-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

things can be great
it can feel like a dream
and little do we realize
that this would end soon

there's nothing much
that we can do
we just have to make way
for the inevitable

but yet we try to
stretch it beyond
what it's supposed to be
to live on borrowed time

though it lasts for a while
it never feels the same
so it makes me think
if it's worth it all

should i rather
let it end
when it is
supposed to be

Back at Square One

2011-03-21T06:31:00.001-07:00

i locked my heart away
and kept my emotions at bay
so that i cant get
far away from you

thing's weren't ecstatic
neither were they gloomy
i just got along
without you

all that effort
to forget what i had
all these efforts
to feel numb

sometimes i wonder
if it's all worth it
the trouble i go through
to forget you

but all it takes
is just one call from you
to break it all down
and i'm back at square one

Tonight

2011-03-07T22:04:00.000-08:00

i can't feel
the love has burnt out
i can't see
the anger has blinded me

you and me
are nothing but
a disaster
in the waiting

i'm seeking refuge
in a place i'm not invited
though it hardly matters
i don't give a damn

so lets not get
ahead of ourselves
this starts and ends
tonight

Distant Memory

2011-02-23T21:31:00.001-08:00

you were taken away
just like that
one day you were here
the next day you were not

they asked me if i'm ok
they asked me if i'm sad
i was not ok
i was devastated

frozen in shock
hardly shed a tear at your departure
but that doesn't mean
i loved you any less

who pulls all the strings i thought
with no regard for anyone
how can they take someone away
without a warning

i learnt to move on
just like everyone else
though at times i feel betrayed
i feel cheated

you were supposed to
be apart of my life
instead you ended up being
a distant memory

Forbidden Fruit

2011-01-14T01:29:00.001-08:00

snatched away from
someone else's
loosely held hand
without hesitation

she laid in bed
waiting to be taken in
to be finally appreciated
for the beauty she posses

fed by the sweetness of her mouth
captivated by her aroused peaks
i started to descend
towards the center of her paradise

her hidden lips whistled desire
as i explored the forbidden land
like a pirate
hunting treasure

my mouth needed no invitaion
it pierced through her broken defenses
to the lquid heat filled
apex of her thighs

her gentle moans
grew into monsterous screams
and i threw away the fondling
to give into her needs

her legs rested on my shoulders
inviting me in
i gladly slid into her warmth
whilst reaching towards to kiss her

upon meeting her sensual gaze
i realised that
it was the start
of a long night ahead

Attention

2010-12-30T03:00:00.000-08:00

you were like
the worst winter
cold as dreary
dark and opaque

and i was
like the summer sun
a smile across my face
trying to brighten you up

too many chilly moments
lead me to confront you
you were unaware
and full of apologies

and now you try
to shine on my world
giving me all the attention
when i require none anymore

it doesn't feel
the same anymore
the ecstatic feeling you gave
has been replaced by awkwardness

mayb it's time
we let autumn come
so we shall fall apart
and wither away

Runaway

2010-12-28T18:12:00.000-08:00

i want to runaway
far from here
to breakaway
from these troubles

so i'm forcing everyone
to let me go
doing things to
be rid of the guilt

i'll be glad
if you came along
then we could get lost
in a fantasy

maybe
it's wishful thinking
and you won't
come away with me

those beautiful eyes
your sweet lips
and our conversations
i would miss

either way
i will go
away from this madness
without hesitation

i stood ground
to put up a fight
but now it's time
to runaway

Hanging By A Fingertip

2010-12-26T13:15:00.000-08:00

feeling cornered
got nowhere to go
i look around
there's no escape

i feel helpless
will i go down
without a fight
without a chance

desperate for survival
i start to dig a hole
to hide myself
from everything

but it's not helping
as everything starts to haunts me
i hold onto
what little hope i have

and i fight back
against the odds
to see some light
in the darkest times

i want to give up
i want to get away
but here i am fighting
when hope fades every second

I Need

2010-12-18T06:54:00.001-08:00

i'll lie to you
i'll cheat on you
i'll hurt you
i'll make you cry

you think
i'll do all of this

i'm not denying
i'm not defending
i'm not giving excuses
i'm not asking for blind faith

but i don't think
that you have a crystal ball either

it is fair
for you to be catious
it is understandable
for you to be scared

scars take time to heal
trust needs time to build
love needs time to grow
and i need time to fight for you

You Don't , I Do

2010-12-16T04:35:00.000-08:00

you don't return my calls
you don't reply to my texts
you are making it clear
that you don't want me around

it's not that i don't get it
but i just can't leave you and go
all i want is to talk to you
and to see if you are fine

you are lying there
in bed with him
with so much anger
just to get back at me

and i'm here
all alone
going out of my mind
worrying over you

i keep telling myself
to build up resentment
so it's easier
to detach myself from you

yet it's funny how
i dont feel any hatred
even as i am
walking away

Let Down

2010-11-23T07:59:00.000-08:00

you say i'm acting weird
that i'm being someone else
well i've got news for you
i've been this when you aren't around

how can you walk in
and start looking for my smile
it's been on a break
ever since you wanted to take one

then you start accusing me
of being all gloomy and dull
what else did u expect
when you walked away with my soul

maybe i went all the way
when i should've stopped half way
but now my only fear
is that i would walk away

not just from you
but everyone else
saddened by let downs
that i'll choose to be on my own

Don't Cry

2010-11-20T12:14:00.000-08:00

don't cry little darling
don't loose hope
your knight in the shining armour
will come to you soon

sometimes you have to
cross a several bridges
to get to your
home sweet home

so wipe those tears
and flaunt your pretty smile
let the world be
amazed by your beauty

and till he comes
stay away from them
they don't care
about anyone else but them

When I Met You

2010-11-16T09:33:00.000-08:00

i wish that
i had met you
when i believed in love
and you did too

it all
would have been perfect
like a fairytale
i used to read

but there's a reason
that we call it a fantasy
it is not something
that we could live in

sometimes i can't help
but wonder
how it would have been
to have you with me

we would have been in love
in our little bubble
doing the silly and romantic things
that couples do

now it all seems far away
and this would
end up
being just a thought

because when i met you
and you met me
we were running
away from love

Vulnerable

2010-11-12T06:37:00.000-08:00

going against my own advice
i couldn't help
but open up
leaving myself vulnerable

my mind kept saying no
i turned a deaf ear
when i should have
listened closely

there's not much
to be done now
but to walk away
in pain

lessons learnt
won't go to waste
but not using them
is the case

as always
i'll have with me
the wonderful memories
that i've made

so i'll bear
through the pain
because it wasn't
all in vain

i'll always smile
when i think of you
maybe shed a tear
because we are through

Out Of Time

2010-11-11T01:40:00.000-08:00

you pushed me away
when i tried to get closer
you made it clear
that i wasn't needed

i couldn't do much
you were making the choices
i was stuck at heartbreak hotel
and i checked out recently

matters of the heart
concerns me nomore
i'm just fine
with a stranger in my arms

but now you say
that you want me back
and that it was my fault
to let it slip away

i'm not pointing fingers
and i'm not trying to mend it
we've run out of time
it's about time you realised it

Death Of A Bastard

2010-10-25T09:08:00.000-07:00

bruised by love
battered by breakups
i was down and out
never to get up

then i found an inner strength
by killing my consciece
i stood up on my feet
pulverizing my oldself

a bastard came into being
selfish in its own right
not giving a damn
nor showing any mercy

it felt wierd at first
but soon it became second nature
and i embraced
not being accountable

at a time when i least expected
in a place i hardly spent time
you came into my life
when i was betting for disaster

so the fightback began
to regain my lost soul
my heart yearned to break free
from the chains i've put on

now i stand here with hope
which you've inflicted upon
you gave me the weaponary
in the form of love, compassion

i made the most of it
to rid what was not me
so here i am celebrating
the death of the bastard

Pretend

2010-10-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

i want to tell you
that i'm stuck
in a mess
and i can't get out

but the words
wont come out
the fear of loosing you
holds it back

so i pretend
that everyting is ok
fake a face
that i'd never have

i'm clueless
and i'm dying here
it sucks that
i cant get out

all i want is
to speak my heart out
and set it free
but i cannot

Comfort Zone

2010-10-07T05:53:00.001-07:00

we come home
escaping the outside world
and watch some tv
have home cooked dinner

bubble baths
whilst sipping red wine
falling asleep
all cuddled up

she's the first thing
that i see every morning
and i'm amazed
by how she makes me feel satisfied

everything is
just the way it should be
a picture perfect scenario
but then i think to myself

should i get down
on one knee
or should i leave
the door open

The Fall

2010-10-03T00:21:00.000-07:00

walking towards the edge
makes me want to free fall
and it suprises me
how i'm not scared at all

so i shall fall
with a smile on my face
pushing away everything and everyone
at peace on my own

i might not be reluctant
yet in these dying minutes
i look for my reason
to prevent me from falling

i never cared much
of how things would end
though my conscience doesn't allow me
to leave things unfinished

so maybe my reason
is not you or them
rather to fill the void
that i've always seen around me

Red

2010-09-24T09:14:00.001-07:00

we thought it was love
so we painted it all red
it seemed like a great way
to celebrate our love

we were in a rush
eager to shout out loud
to tell the world
that we were in love

maybe it was too soon
maybe it was misread
too many maybe's
too little feelings

it's still all red
though we are mourning
a bleeding heart
instead of celebrating

Helpless In Bed

2010-09-24T09:12:00.001-07:00

his rough hands
smothers her velvet skin
unable to break free
she shivers in fear and disgust

using all her might
she pushes him back
running for her life
is all she can do

like a starved savage beast
he pounces on her
whilst she screams in agony
he tries to find pleasure

her eyes filled with tears
she looks for compassion in his eyes
but none she can find
as he gives an unmerciful glance

all out of chances
all out of hope
she stares at the blank wall
lying helpless in bed

If You Let Me

2010-09-15T20:24:00.001-07:00

what would you do
if i were to come there
and hold you tight
in the moonlight

would you push me away
and run far away
or would you hold me tight
in this cold night

let the cold breeze
blow your hair
across my face
whilst i kiss your neck

and we shall lie
amongst the wildflowers
and wake up
to it's sweet scent

i would do it everyday
if you let me in
because i want to
grow older with someone like you

Children Of The War

2010-09-05T06:08:00.000-07:00

born and raised
at gunpoint
we were taught to follow
not to think

they were our parents
they were our gods
everything was laid out
in simple black and white

but now it has changed
the chains broken
taught only to follow
now we look for guidance

unable to think
on our own
we are caught in constant dilemma
lost without our voices

if you broke the chains
teach us how to stand on our feet
or forever we shall be
the children of the war

Something's Don't Change

2010-08-24T10:00:00.001-07:00

something's don't change
even though how hard i try
something's won't wait
till i try to figure it out

so i have to mess it up
when it's worth trying harder
that's why i haven't changed
because i'm always a disappointment

that is why
even though i don't know
what i am doing
i'm sure about the outcome

when everything is uncertain
one thing is certain
i just throw it all away
when i should b holding on to it

There You Weren't

2010-08-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

there you were
lying next to me
hair fallen
across your beautiful face

i move it back
to look into your eyes
trying to understand
how you make me feel this way

i put in an effort
to stay still
fighting the urge to kiss you
scared that i'll ruin this moment

even in your sleep
you leave me breathless
even in my dreams
you still mesmerize me

there you weren't
lying next to me
you've left without a trace
like you said you wouldn't

Matter Over Mind

2010-07-17T07:59:00.001-07:00

you take me in
to feel the warmth within
my senses overwhelmed
by the pleasure you bring

i caress your perfect body
trying to memorise every touch
but my conscience gets in the way
as i'm in bed with someone else's

you ask me what's wrong
and i smile and say nothing
after all it was our choices
that led me to bed with you

i try not to think too much
about what's right and wrong
i shut down my conscience
and fire up my hormones

your sweet lucious lips
and your burgeoning breasts
distracts me from my moments of hesitancy
whilst i'm thrusting into you

I Try

2010-07-11T06:02:00.000-07:00

i try to be a better man
i try to be someone good
in the midst of all the trying
i get lost and fall down

even though i try to do
what i think is the right thing
i know i am no saint
mistakes i've done myself

i try to help you
through dark times
but there are moments that i wish
i could kiss your pretty lips

i sacrifice my dreams for you
and i know it's because i care
but then there are times
that i wish my dreams were pursued

i do not seek praise
all i want to is to see things through
sometimes i can't help but wait
to hear you acknowledge

i'm trying my best
to be selfless
but at times i feel like running away
and being selfish and ignorant

Self Destruct

2010-06-10T05:49:00.000-07:00

one by one
i tick them off
day by day
i give into hate

word by word
i hurt everyone
piece by piece
i break their hearts

step by step
i walk away
little by little
i self destruct

Through the Lens

2010-05-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

i see her
in magazines
flashing a perfect smile
for the camera

her tears get filtered
through the camera lens
and i wonder
who she is hiding from

no one to share
the sadness in her heart
she lives in a fantasy
on her own

friends she has many
none when she needs them
so she turns to darkness
to console her

playing a role
in someone else's play
she's tossed out like waste
once her role is played out

Secretly Falling For You

2010-05-19T22:32:00.000-07:00

you came
to light up the darkness around me
so that i saw
what i was missing

when you speak
i watch your lips
create a symphony
the sweetest sound i've heard

and when you walk away
the way that
your hips move
excite me

i could go on
writing about all these
things that you do
which makes my heart skip a beat

but i've wasted enough time
and i want you to know
that i have been
secretly falling for you

Gifts of Guilt

2010-05-16T22:14:00.000-07:00

she holds her hair
till he puts on the necklace
which he hopes
would take away the guilt of mistreating her

he kisses her on the neck
to show some affection
but it doesn't bring back
the sparkle in her eyes

and she wonders
if this is how it's going to be
will he try to buy himself
out of all the mistakes he makes

thoughts of leaving him
lingers on her mind
scared of being alone
she decides to play along

Paper Boat

2010-05-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

fragile as i am
i pretend to be a boat
made of wood
when it's just paper

helpless on my own
without strength to carry myself
i depend on you
to keep me afloat in life

i cannot control where i am heading
i do not know my destination
hoplessly praying
for a miracle

that my journey ends
in a better place
before i'm soaked in my mistakes
beyond redemption

Stolen Innocence

2010-05-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

tell me who stole
the innocence from her eyes
i don't know whom to blame
its gone without a trace

trying to act older
when she's just a kid
looking away from
the best years of her life

blindfolded by insecurity
she turns towards
things that are destructive
desperate to fit in

i hope it's temporarily
and she finds her way back
without being a faded picture
in the album of life

Pieces

2010-05-05T19:46:00.000-07:00

pieces of my heart
i try to put together
it doesn't seem to hold
like it used to before

pieces of my life
i see scattered everyhwere
the ones with you in it
i can't seem to find

pieces of our love
i've been trying to submerge
efforts have been invain
it keeps resurfacing

everything i go through
everything i've been through
reminds me of how
hard it is to replace

Let Me Be

2010-05-01T21:11:00.001-07:00

a frozen heart
doesn't feel love
doesn't feel pain
doesn't care about anything

that's how it is going to be
now that we are not meant to be
nothing gets in
nothing gets out

i remember opening up my heart
i remember falling insanely in love
but it's all in the past
i have no regards for it

i've run out of love
whilst trying to find my way
out of the rubble of my past
so let me be

Holding On

2010-04-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

just when i was
about to give up
things kept falling around me
hope was gone

but i'm starting to see
rays of hope
coming through
the gloomy skies

should i give up now
or hold on for
a little bit longer
than i expected

it is a gamble
but i guess
i have to take my chances
nothing's written in stone

i can hang on and keep my chin up
but it's an uphill battle
when you are so close
and yet so far away

Time Out

2010-04-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

what am i doing
i ask myself
but i hardly get an answer
and i'm happy with that

howcome i'm happy
without knowing what i'm doing
maybe i'm happy being confused
rather than having to take sides

i tell that i'm done with love
but why do look for romance
i tell that i'm back doing one nighters
but why have i skipped those nights

i'm saying no to commitments
i'm saying no to flings
maybe it's just that
i need sometime for myself

Miss Independent

2010-03-28T02:56:00.000-07:00

she says she's fine on her own
that she doesn't need anyone around
trying to live life
as miss independent

she doesn't listen
or take advice
because she thinks
it makes her look weak

she lets in all the sugar-coaters
who leaves as soon as dawn sets in
pushes out anyone
willing to grow old with her

then every night
when she goes to bed
with no one to
comfort or talk to her

she starts to doubt
what she says
but too stubborn to admit
she puts up a face

so she goes on
living alone
just because
she wants to be miss independent

Choices

2010-02-25T03:01:00.000-08:00

sometimes we drift away
from the things that matter
and we drift along
with the things that don't

i'm on a chosen path
with intentions of
bringing about positive change
to the ones i love

it's not always
cruising on a highway
instead it's a crossroad after the other
i try my best to pick the right way

but i can't help but wonder
if i'm making the right choices
or if i'm walking in the dark
making things worse

there's is only one way to find out
if my choices were right
that is by seeing things through
to the end

I Won't Slow Down

2010-02-25T02:58:00.000-08:00

everyone takes their time
to complaint about my addiction to speed
though none takes time
to think why i'm addicted

is it the adnereline rush
or the satisfaction of being ahead
i'm sorry to disappoint
because it is neither

all the little things in my head
that makes me question my sanity
all play catch up
when i'm behind the wheel

maybe i take an extreme route
to reach my moment of clarity
but i'd rather forget it all for a second
than having to slow down

Hero or Zero

2010-02-21T23:40:00.000-08:00

we all want to be a hero
driven by our childhood fantasies
the desire to be remembered
among billions of others like us

comics and cartoons
based on heroes
frontpage articles and celebrity status
it's a tempting lifestyle

but i don't want to be a hero
i want to be her zero
who gets to hold her in his arms
instead of running away to save the world

so if someone is writing my destiny
or if i have to write it on my own
i only have one wish
to be the zero of her life

Curtain Falls

2010-02-06T23:17:00.000-08:00

so many things in my head
i don't know what to think
succumbing to loneliness
my soul gives away

it's hard to focus
when i'm nothing but a mess
i slip into darkness
as hope starts to fade

how can i move on
when there's so much to let go
holding on to what i've done
is not helping either

but it's too late
to turn back and regret
and it's too hard
to look forward with hope

my head is spinning
from endless thinking
as i wait for
the curtain to fall on today

Seasons of Our Love

2010-01-26T08:59:00.000-08:00

warmth of our budding love
melted the wall between us
our love started to grow
like flowers in the spring

days went by
and we grew closer
love started to blossom
the summer of our love begun

unable to stop the inevitable
we started falling apart
like leaves from a tree
autumn had descended upon us

shattered and broken
we grew apart with cold hearts
frozen with time
we walked away alone

Life After You

2010-01-21T10:11:00.000-08:00

everyone wants to fall in love
it's not a cliche
just the truth
that we sometimes look away

i was one of them
who looked away
but you changed all that
turned me into a lover

then it all fell to the ground
like a house of cards
love has left me
though i still yearn for companionship

and i found that in someone else
it was not love
but moments of sensuality
which was enough to get me through

here i am now with a stranger
whom i hardly know
love never crosses our mind
yet our bodies constantly collide

she keeps me busy
through these dark times
but when i let my mind wander
it always finds you

Coward

2010-01-20T20:34:00.001-08:00

maybe you think i'm a coward
because of the way i've acted
i do not blame you
i know i've been one

it's not easy
to explain the circumstances
it'll only come out
as a justification

i don't want to give excuses
and i'm not saying sorry
no word can make up
for the pain i've caused

i was caught in the middle
between two worlds i love
so i did my best
to bring happiness to them both

i never wanted anything for myself
i only wanted happiness for the ones i love
maybe i was a coward for being selfless
and not pursuing what could have been

Whatever

2010-01-19T19:36:00.000-08:00

whatever
is what i say
when i don't say
what i say to say

why does a daughter
have to lie to her mother
why can't a husband
be honest with his wife

why do we overlook
the little things in life
and wait till a snowball
turns into an avalanche

is it because
we are too afraid
of the truth
and its consequences

or do we try to lookaway
till we are push against the wall
and we are left with
no other choice

How I Feel

2009-12-15T19:19:00.000-08:00

it feels like i was pushed down
from a dream up in the clouds
rather than trying to get up
i keep reminiscing the past

life is heading downhill
and i'm saying goodbye
with tears in my eyes
to the life i had with you

maybe we set the bar too high
but it felt right
maybe we took too many chances
that's why we are left in pieces

now i know what slow death is like
each step i take away from you
hoping for a fresh start
lifelessness takes over

but you'll always be the ache
that i won't cure completely
to remind myself
how it feels to be in love

Heartbreak Junction

2009-11-29T18:59:00.000-08:00

i tried to be romantic
took tips from movies and poets
because i hadn't
done this before

then i tried to be a friend
since you hardly had any
listened to your problems
without any judgement

but you hardly noticed
how much i loved you
things i did
only because i cared for you

when you didn't seem to notice
i put out the sadness and the pain
hoping you'll realise
it's because of you

the sadness and the frustration
aggrevated into anger
not because i hate you
only out of love

i took many paths
hoping it'll lead us
to a happy ending
but here i am stranded
on a heartbreak junction

Favorite Drug

2009-10-07T12:20:00.001-07:00

i've tried
hash,coke,shrooms
and everything else
they used to get me high like a bird in the sky

but then you came along
and became my favorite drug
you sent me higher
like an astronaut

baby baby
don't you ever leave me now

they call me a druggie
and all sorts of names
but they dont know
that you are my addiction

i've got used to you
and nothing else works on me
not even escobar
could've got me a drug like you

Against the World

2009-09-27T10:25:00.000-07:00

you came to me
when my life
was in ruins
i had lost all hope

your love guided me
through the troubled times
kept my sanity
from eluding me

but look what's happened
where's that love
which gave me hope
of a silver lining

i know it's not gone
because i feel it
it's just buried
by the circumstances

i try to sleep away the pain
i try to cry out the sadness
nothing helps nothing works
your love is the only cure

i want you now
more than ever
i feel so alone
in the midst of this mess

i don't want you to be mad
i don't want to fight
come on lets works this out
it's you and me against the world

Can't Love Make Us Happy?

2009-09-20T00:18:00.000-07:00

is my love not enough
for you to be happy
don't i care enough
for you to feel safe

why is it
that you listen to strangers
but not to
the person who loves you the most

i know i have faults
but i'm trying
to correct them
and to be perfect for you

it kills me to see you
like this
whatever i seem to do
makes things worse

sometimes it's hard
i'm caught in the middle
trying to satisfy the ones i love
end up doing the opposite

Love Won't Go Away

2009-09-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

i keep looking at you
not because you are the prettiest sight my eyes will ever see
since i'm still trying to figure out
how you made me fall in love

every time i get call or a text
my heart races with excitement
knowing that it could be you
that feeling never fades away

every time you get closer to me
the goosebumps are still there
you being irreplaceable isn't a thought
i know it for a fact

you are reason
i'm getting through life
when nothing seems to work
i tell myself i have you

whenever you have a bad day
i try hard to make it better
sometimes i fall short
that won't make me stop

we'll have rough days
we might feel distant
the odds might be against us
it doesn't mean i love you any less

Your Happiness

2009-09-20T00:13:00.000-07:00

i keep looking at our pictures
reading our conversations
playing back the memories of us
in my head

i pick up the phone
to call you
then i throw it away
because i'm not supposed to

it's harder than i thought
but i'll do it
i may shed a few tears
but i'll bear it

my love for you
won't go away
i'll be there for you
every single day

your happiness
is my first priority
if that requires
my own heart break tragedy

i'll play along
and do whatever it takes
so that you can be
happy again

She Has to Go Back

2009-08-15T22:51:00.000-07:00

the days passed swiftly
and it’s getting closer now
sometime sooner
she has to go back home

i break the clock into pieces
hoping time would stand still
i tear away the calendar
wishing today never ends

i keep locking all the doors
so that she cannot leave
i threw away her ticket
so she can’t fly back home

i try to fight against it
i try to keep her here
without realizing
i’m fighting a losing cause

i guess it’s time to accept it
she has to go back home
time to stop the fighting
and make the most of now

Come Home Soon

2009-07-02T00:48:00.000-07:00

she's far away
in a distant land
when i want to hold her
she's out of reach

everyday spent apart
is a day without her
but i'm not going to
let that come in between

long hours on the phone
talking about nothing
but i still get excited
every time i hear her voice

i keep counting the days
for you to come back
i don't want to count anymore
baby come home soon

Always In Love With Her

2009-06-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

when the sun rises
and i wake up
i call
to tell her i love her

when the sun shines bright
and i'm at work
i text
to tell her i love her

when the sun sets in the orange sky
and i'm on the way home
i call
to tell her i love her

when the moon starts smiling
and i'm laying next to her
i whisper
to tell her i love her

every day and night
when the sun shines and sets
i know
i'm always in love with her

I Think of You

2009-05-21T02:57:00.000-07:00

when things keep falling apart
and everything i try
keeps failing
i think of you

when i feel i'm alone
and no one loves me
all i want is to get rid of that feeling
i think of you

life is daunting
leaving me clueless at times
whenever i need clarity
i think of you

if i want to getaway
from everything
to some peace and quiet
i think of you

sometimes i have too many
sad thoughts in my head
and i look for something happy
i think of you

every word has a different meaning
but when i hear
love joy beauty life
i think of you

Things I Like About Her

2009-04-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

everyone thinks she's just a pretty face
but i know that's not true
it's just one of many things
i like about her

she can keep a conversation alive
without freezing halfway through
she knows when i'm being sarcastic
and plays along fine

we talk about all the random things
and spend hours on the phone
whenever i have a bad day
she's always there to make me smile

when she cuddles with me
it's like holding onto the softest pillow
her kisses are even better
leaves the sweetest taste on my tongue

every time i see her
her hair is a different color
she's always full of surprises
you'll never know what she'll pull off next

these are some of the reasons
why i like my baby girl
but the way her love makes me feel
is why i fall in love with her everyday

I Want More

2009-03-28T01:04:00.000-07:00

whenever i see you smile
i want more
the smile has to
stay on forever

and it's the same when you kiss me
i want more
keep kissing me
so that i am breathless

your love is no exception
i want more
love me
till the end of time

let's runaway to an island
i want more
of you
my baby

i'm selfish when i'm with you
i want more
i want you
all to myself

Watching Her Sleep

2009-03-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

she asks me to leave
when she goes to sleep
but i don't feel like
leaving her

i watch her fall asleep
and wish i was there
so that she doesn't have to
on her own

my eyes are
glued onto her pretty face
i can't take my eyes away
she makes me smile everyday

and i feel like
i am the
luckiest guy
to have her in my life

sleep tight baby
when you wake up
i'll be here
right next to you

Stories and Lullabies

2009-02-21T06:32:00.001-08:00

here i'm waiting
thinking about you
waiting for you
to come back

i am writing
stories and lullabies
to read to you
through the night

when you come back
let me put my
arms around you
and hold you tight

then i'll close my eyes
and pray to the gods
to pause this moment
with you in my arms

Two Shades of Patriotism

2009-01-20T21:18:00.000-08:00

saviors of the nation
protectors of the innocent
the country before themselves
is what they try to portray

a war is fought
innocent lives are lost
but they don't care
because it's not their own

a mother weeps for her son
whilst a wife waits for her husband
a son cries himself to sleep
knowing his father would never return

the war seems to be
the answer for everything
even for the starving stomachs

a father skips a meal
to feed his little ones

whilst the countrymen
starves themselves though the days
the saviors party
the nights away

but who are we to question
if we don't sing
the same song as them
our throats are cut
and left to bleed

Betraying My Heart

2008-12-24T18:33:00.000-08:00

pondering the thought
to kiss you
or to walk away

all i've wanted
was to savor
your sweet lips

i can't make up my mind
between what is right
and what i want

walking away
is what i'm going to do
to save you from breaking your heart

You're My Reason to Try

2008-12-24T18:16:00.000-08:00

when everything is falling
and everyone is leaving
i sit here lost without hope

the light keeps on fading
i keep on thinking
will i ever get out of here

when all seems to be shattered
you come along
and give me a reason to try

with the strength that is left
i get up on my feet
to fight for one more time

waves of your smile
washes the darkness away
leaving behind footprints of love

Me the Poet

2008-11-25T23:05:00.000-08:00

come here let me tell you something
it's a bit about how i started to write
my poetry might not be oscar worthy
but it's better than paris hilton's songs

i've got a lot of stuff in my head
so i thought that i should jot them down
it's not always what your folks approve
but hey! it's what's in my head

you can call me pervy
sleazy or dreamy
even brokenhearted at times
but i know that you can relate

i'm not trying to be a robert frost
or a 2pac clone
i'm just giving my thoughts a voice
is there anything wrong with that?

Why the Sudden Interest?

2008-11-24T06:29:00.000-08:00

what's with the change of tone
why do you try to sound like you care
don't say that i ruined our future
how can you say i threw it all away

why the sudden interest
is it because
you saw me with someone else

we were over
long time ago
though none of us admitted
afraid to leave our comfort zones

stop trying to relive the past
we are no more
hope you get the message
and stop acting like you care
it's a bit too late for that

Running into a Storm

2008-11-05T08:57:00.000-08:00

with you on my right
and her on my left
i keep running into
a big storm

maybe it's strange
that i am not quitting
putting myself through
all this trouble

i don't feel any sadness
only embracing the bitterness
and expecting more heartaches
to fuel up these emotions

maybe i'm tired
of everything being perfect
to be smooth sailing
through life

so let the storm come
and roughen up the sea

Hiding Sun

2008-10-28T02:00:00.000-07:00

the sun is hiding behind the clouds today
it's all gloomy in here
and i'm cuddling under the sheets alone
wishing you were here

the alarm keeps going off
and i don't want to shut it off
it's what brings me back to reality
from a galaxy of thoughts about you

it feels good for a moment
to sink in those memories of you and me
but i crossed that ocean long time ago
and i am not going back

I Won't Be Your Beggar

2008-09-23T18:37:00.000-07:00

she calls me a stranger
when i call her my angel
and i can't figure out
how to change her mind

she asks me to leave her
when i want to stay here
all tangled up
with her

my patience is running out
and maybe i should leave
but it is hard
to get her off my mind

as much as i love her
i can't be a beggar
so if this is the end
i'll pack up and leave

The Other Guy

2008-09-01T15:33:00.000-07:00

i'm the one that she comes to
when her guy doesn't give her attention
and then she spends time with me
because she likes the way i treat her

when he doesn't talk to her
she comes to me to make conversation
when he doesn't make love to her
she comes to me to get satisfaction

but then she leaves me
once her guy comes around
and when he wants her back

i'm left with nothing
except the pleasurable memories
that she and i made together

and i can't ask for more than that
because i'm the other guy

I'm No Superhero

2008-08-17T05:12:00.000-07:00

i can't fly
or break down buildings
i might not be able to run
faster than a speeding train

because i'm no superhero
nor an angel
but that won't stop me
trying to fix things

to make sure that everyone's alright
i'll keep trying
till everything works out
for the better

putting my life on hold
so that i can see more smiles
on the faces
of those whom i love

Not Mine

2008-08-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

i saw her leaving the bar
with him
his arms wrapped around her

i turn around to talk to my date
so that i'd distract myself
from thinking about her

his lips on hers
his hands on her hips
these thoughts invade my mind

i look away
and think to myself
why i always desire
someone else's girl

Love is Gone

2008-07-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

would you listen to me
if i said that i have something to say
if you don't want to talk
i understand

i used all my chances
i'm not here to give excuses
one proper conversation
one last kiss
is all i need

i'm not trying to hold on to this
i just need closure
my only hope is we move onto something better
because love left us long time ago

Make Up or Break Up

2008-07-24T05:37:00.000-07:00

if we don't spend
tonight together
it's over
baby it's over

you keep giving excuses
give it up and come clean
who's that other guy
don't tell me there's no one

stop webbing stories
to find a way out of this
you've run out of chances

so choose tonight
it's either
make up
or break up

Think Twice

2008-06-14T05:35:00.000-07:00

think twice please
before you leave again
i know that i am flawed
let's try to work things out

the first time you left
my heart broke to bits
and it was your love
which put me back together

but if i break it one more time
i know that it can't be fixed
so think twice please
before you leave again

Is It Wrong to Miss You?

2008-05-06T19:57:00.000-07:00

i wait for your call
or a simple text message
i keep thinking of
what you are doing during the day

when i get hold of you on the phone
i don't feel like keeping the phone
the text messages that i get
i don't delete for a few days

is it wrong
for me to do this
is it wrong
for me to miss you

i guess it's wrong
when you are someone else's
so i bury these things
to have you have you as a friend

Neighbor Girl

2008-04-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

early morning
i wake up to get a glimpse of you
i make an excuse
to come over to your house

your brother ain't much of a talker
but i try to make conversation
so that i get to see you
reading your favorite book

i can tell when you are having a bad day
that's when i try to crack a joke
most of them are lame i know
still it makes you smile

a smile
as bright as the sun
that lightens up my day

i eagerly wait
to see you again
my neighbor girl

Goodbye My Brother

2008-04-25T02:19:00.000-07:00

you went away
without a warning
we shared everything
but this you did not

i go to the court
to play some ball
but where's my friend
who passed me the ball

i got into fights
without hesitation
because i knew
i had my back covered

now it seems
i've lost my shadow
goodbye my brother
you'll always live
in my memories

You Are Not What I Like

2008-04-24T05:38:00.000-07:00

you are not what i like
you are bossy
too naggy
and i hate it when you are bitchy

just because you have the looks
or because every guy wants you
they aren't good enough reasons
for me to like you

can't have a conversation
you start talking about your riches
only the sex is good i admit
but everything else is bad

time to take a stance
to do what makes me happy
i'm leaving you for good
because you aren't what i like

When We Were Young

2008-04-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

we dreamt of growing up
to do our own jobs
and be independent
when we were young

now we've all grown up
trying to reach our goals
i can't stop thinking
how simple life was
when we were young

no responsibilities
no worrying about the future
a carefree life we lived
full of laughter

so when i'm crushed between work
i go back to my childhood memories
then for a minute or two
all my troubles go away

Leaving Without a Goodbye

2008-04-23T07:22:00.000-07:00

we knew it had to end
before we even got started
still,
i'll always cherish
what we had

your presence
always brought a smile to my face
a glimpse of you
turned my bad days to good

we were supposed to meet for one last time
to say our goodbyes
but here i am on a plane
leaving without a goodbye

Doing What's Right

2008-04-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

always try to do what's right
things to make you smile
i sacrifice my time
to do these things for you

i don't mind
putting my life on hold
to do what it takes
to make you happy

but it gets harder
to keep going like this
when all you do
is make me feel,
like i've fell short

Full Moon on a Long Dark Night

2008-03-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

unexpectedly involved,
while tangled up in bed
the risk i took
was fruitful

nervous i was
when i reached for your lips
and when you kissed me back
i was overwhelmed with joy

you were like a full moon
after a long dark night
though time wasn't on our side
i'm glad how things turned out

i'm going far away
uncertain when i'll be back
but memories of you
would always make me smile

I've Changed

2008-03-10T15:46:00.000-07:00

grew up listening to backstreet boys
now i listen to fallout boy
used to believe there was only one to love
but now i'm learning to spread the love

it's funny how things have changed
all those things that i believed
i can't find them,
in my head anymore

i used to like strawberry cheese cake
but now i like a different kind of cake
my tastes have changed
so have my thoughts

maybe this is growing up
you learn and change from what you've put up
in time i hope i'll be fine
like a bottle of good wine